Nappily Ever After Movie Review

God’s Not Dead/The Movie“Noah”- Flooded With Lies

                                                Christians beware!

Darren Aronofsky, a self-professed Atheist, and the writer/director of the feature film, “Noah” has staged an insidious, heinous scheme to bamboozle Christians
into supporting what he described to The Telegraph, as, “the least biblical-
biblical film ever made.” Throughout the entire film, the word “God” is not
mentioned even once. Instead God is referred to as “The Creator.”  But given the fact that Aronofsky’s impression of God is so far from the loving, merciful God that we as Christians
know, I believe that in this sense, not using God’s name, may have actually
been the least blasphemous aspect of this entire project.

 

One of the most troubling facets of Aronosky’s entire plot was his attempt to misguide and confuse his audience by implying that “The Creator”, was a heartless, cruel tyrant,
whose only interest was to torture mankind.  He also managed to turn Noah; one of the most innovative, inspired and faithful figures in the bible ,into a deranged, delusional, murderous,
mad-man.  And I suppose he decided to model Noah’s family  after some dysfunctional
reality show,  there was no unity and they were falling apart due to mutiny, jealously and rebelliousness.

 These obvious discrepancies to scripture would not poise any real issues for a seasoned Christian that reads and understands The Bible for themselves.   As Christians,
we fully believe The Bible to be the true, actual Word Of God, and  a veteran Christian would more than likely escape Aronosky’s cunning attempts at coercion.
But to the person who is unchurched, undecided or unfamiliar with The
Bible, after seeing this twisted tale, they might be more easily swayed to
steer away from developing a Christ centered relationship.

 

 Although Aronofsky lacked the imagination to author an original story that would adequately demean “The Word Of God”, all on his own. He did manage to invoke Creative License, by changing angels into rock creatures and inserting other fictitious characters, which never previously existed in s any version of original scripture. It’s no wonder he felt the need
to title this film, “Noah”, otherwise no one, especially Christians, would’ve recognized
Aronofsky’s version as all.  Not only did this movie barely resemble the chronicles of Noah, it was just a bad film.  It was also confusing, unnecessarily lengthy, sporadic and hard to follow.  As an
action film aficionado, Atheist vs. Christian component aside, I still would
not have recommended this movie and only given it a C minus.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I take full responsibility for the fact that I allowed myself to be to hoodwinked  into spending my money  through promo trailers  filled with A List Actors and promises of riveting,  non-stop action,  on a film that turned out to be just another
average piece of junk.   The thing that really ticked me off is that Aronofsky maliciously plotted against Christians in order to lure them into spending their hard earned money to line his pockets
and support his Atheist film project.   To Christians, the parables written in The
Bible are seen as the sacred, inspired words of God.  He could’ve released this movie at any other
time of the year, but he chose to release it during the holy Lenten season,
because he knew that the Christian community, starved for films containing
spiritual content, would see the title of this movie and automatically flock to
theatres to see it.  If that was not an obvious, malicious, targeted plot against the Christian community, I don’t know
what is.

 

I only hope is that I might save others from being tricked into spending their money on this
distorted piece of fiction.  But if curiosity is killing you and you’ve just gotta see “Noah”,  rent it for a buck on Redbox.

 

 And don’t  be discouraged or detoured if you still would like to take your family out to the theater to see an inspirational spiritual show.  There are still writers and directors out there who honor and respect this holy season by releasing quality films. I was fortunate enough to be turned onto just such a film.  My sister happened to come across it while reading the reviews for “Noah”.   It’s a wonderful independent movie called “God’s Not Dead”, and she raved about it so much that I went out to see it the same day. I’m so happy that I did because it did not disappoint.  It was the story of a young Christian student, (Josh Wheaton) who is faced with a dilemma that came to challenge his faith on his very first day of class as a college freshman.   His
Philosophy Professor,  the fanatical, combative, smug, Atheist, (Professor Radisson),
informs the students that they must deny the existence of God  by writing, “God is dead” on a piece of paper and signing their name,  in order to avoid a failing grade.   

This becomes Josh’s moment of truth because he must now choose between his faith or his otherwise pristine academic career and his well-planned future. If Josh refuses to admit
that God is dead, he must then prove God's existence by presenting well-researched, intellectual arguments and evidence ver the course of the semester, and engage Radisson in a head-to-head debate in front of the class. Feeling alone and afraid, Josh stands practically alone as he tries to prove the existence of God. 

This film was actually inspired by many accounts of actual occurrences at universities all
across the United States.  What I find most encouraging about this movie is that it called out to a generation that is often seen as apathetic to stand up for what they believe in.  It also reminded me that at one point or another in our lives, we will all be called as individuals to stand alone to
defend our principals.  Two of my favorite quotes came to mind as I sat and watched this film.  Malcom X said, “You must stand for something or you will fall for anything.” And Edmond Burke said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

Watching this film, “God’s Not Dead” inspired me to stand up and do my part, and for me, it was writing this article. But even if you don’t know what to do, do something!  Maybe doing your part is texting 10 friends the simple reminder, “God’s Not Dead”, or maybe it’s just to go and see the
film.  And I do recommend that you go out and see this film, but not because it defends a cause that I believe in, but because it inspires us to stand and act on our faith, whatever it is you have
faith in. And isn’t that what art is supposed to do, inspire us to contribute a change that will effectuate a positive difference around us and the universe overall?

 

Winning The Ultimate War; Life

Today I watched a game about the strategy behind winning war, “The Art of War” in the form of a film.  And it got me to thinking about life and how our lives are just like war, and how each of the challenges that we face in our lives are our battles.  The thing about our battles is that we must face, fight and win each of them, one battle at a time.   For the first time, I finally understood the meaning of the saying, “Life is not about the destination, but the journey”, up until today, I always thought that was just some crap people try to pacify you with when you lose.  But if that is true, it must also be true that if Life is like war, it’s not about just winning the war, but about how we fight and how we win the battles along the way that really make us the winners we become, when we finally do conquer our opponents.   It truly does matter how we win and not just that we win. 

The way that we fight our battles, says so much about who we are, the amount of integrity that we employ, the ethics in the execution of our tactics and how we affect everyone around us who is watching us fight our battles matters as well.  It’s important that we remember that it’s not just the soldiers on our team who will be watching us; our enemies will be watching us as well.  When we are tasked with making decisions on the strategies that we will use to win our battles, we have the power to affect those that we come in contact with in a positive way as well as a negative one; every battle is an opportunity to effectuate a positive or negative change through the impression that we leave as we walk away from the battlefield; choice is up to us. 

No one wins every battle that they fight, and whether or not you win or you lose, it really is about how you play the game.  And if you are fighting a worthy adversary, in the end, they will respect the way that you played the game, no matter the outcome of the battle. 

For me when it comes to adversaries, I know that I can face no opponent greater than myself.  More often than not, I am my own worst enemy, and the majority of my biggest battles begins, are fought and won or lost, first, right inside of my own head.  There have been so many times that I missed out on my blessings simply because I lost the battle in my head and talked myself out of ever going out into the world and onto life’s real battlefield.  Man, make no mistake about it, the battle that we have with our daily thoughts is the most fierce scuffle that we will ever fight.  What I am discovering is that in order to    successfully and consistently win our worldly battles, we must first learn how to win the tug-o-war  with ourselves that is taking place in our minds before the main event begins;  mastering this skill is what  will ultimately determine whether  or not we succeed at winning the war.

So then I started thinking again…if life is like war and each of the obstacles we face are like battles, what weapons has God given us to fight it? I believe that God has given each of us a different set of weapons to fight, since each of our battles are as different as we are.  The battles that we fight are determined for each of us, depending on what purpose God has assigned to our lives.  The battles we fight train us and groom us to be the people that we are ultimately meant to be.  Therefore the weapons that are given to us will also be designed around helping us fulfill that purpose.  For example, my gifts and talents, also known as my weapons, are centered on words.  I fight my battles as a writer by using the sword of the written word and as a radio show host and film producer with the spoken word.  I believe that God gifted me with these talents to fight each of my battles until I ultimately reach my goal, and to effectuate a positive change through each and every person that I might encounter along the way.

I am one of “Those People” that really believes that our words have power. I believe that, “The pen is mightier than the sword,” (Edward George Bulwer Lytton), and that “A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words, from the fruit of his mouth will a man have good food in full measure”, (Proverbs 12:14).  But I also believe that, “We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12).  And if I believe that this is true then I also know that God, in His infinite love for us, must’ve also equipped us with some equally potent weapons to fight these spiritual battles that we too often encounter.  If we read carefully, it’s easy to see that all of the clues to winning are written in God’s word, for example, Proverbs 18:21 says this; “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”.  It was only after reading that scripture that it became easy for me to deduce that through daily prayer and renewing my mind by reading the word of God that I learned how to use His words as weapons to use to my advantage in winning these types of battles as well.

The written word of God and the words of our mouths through prayer and the seeds that we plant through the words we speak,  are weapons that God has given us all access to in order to fight the self-defeating thoughts that we struggle continuously with.  But for me, words are also the personal gifts and talents that God has given me to fight the battles of my personal war and to achieve my life’s purpose.  So now I challenge everyone that takes the time to read this, to discover and to utilize their own individual gifts and talents that God has given to them in order to fight and win all of the battles that they may face, as well as winning the ultimate victory in the war of life.  And don’t forget to leave a lasting and positive impression on this world before you leave by inspiring and encouraging everyone you encounter along the way.

Change Your Default Settings-Change Your Life

Recently I just celebrated my birthday, and I’ve always hated the fact that my birthday comes in January.  Because my birthday comes right after the holidays, people are broke, tired and at least 10 pounds overweight.  Everyone has already started their New Year’s resolutions , so no one is able to spend money, eat and they are by now, all partied out.  Many times, I’ve vowed to change the date that I celebrate my birthday; I have always wanted to celebrate my birthday in some warm weather.  I’ve always envied people who are born in the warm summer months, they have it made, everybody is in the mood to party and have fun in the summer.  Next year maybe I will just go celebrate my birthday by throwing a party for all of my friends and family in Miami or better yet Hawaii….

Anyway, it turns out that this year, as in years past; my birthday was one of the coldest days of the year yet, here in Atlanta.  And since I hate, hate, hate cold weather, I celebrated my birthday indoors.  This was good for me, because I’ve decided to use this time to do a little reflecting and reconciling.  This is something I do every year at this time; it seems to be the one advantage of being born in January.  Every year for the past several years, on my birthday, I look back over my life and evaluate my progress in accomplishing my goals, my relationships, my areas of weakness, and my mistakes(so that I can learn from them-NO REGRETS THOUGH).  I do this to make sure that I’m headed in the right direction,  and that I’m not wasting time and energy on people and projects that are not in line with my purpose and with my  ideology.  I don’t just do this in January, I do it as often as possible, but it’s especially important to me on my birthday. I need just to make certain that I don’t roll all of my old mistakes over into the New Year.

 For example, in the past, I’ve wasted valuable time by allowing the wrong people into my inner sanctum, and more often than not, I wound up getting off the track of my intended purpose.  This process usually occurred in a very insidious facet.  Most of the time, it was so gradual that I didn’t even realize that it was happening.  When you let someone into your life (at least for me) and you care about them, naturally you want to make them happy. But if you don’t have goals and purposes that coincide with one another, and that’s where the problems begin.  If we aren’t careful we can mistake supporting someone else’s goals for adopting their goals, and what started off as supporting a friend,  can turn into extreme compromise of your own values, principals or ideas, and eventually abandonment of self. 

There were many times when I tried so hard to please people who were impossible to please, and didn’t appreciate my efforts.  As a result I wasn’t true to myself, and I wound up unhappy anyway.  One of my favorite performers; Chante’ Moore said it best, “Why do we give ourselves away, until only emptiness remains?”  

And let’s not forget those people whom are constantly causing drama, chaos and turmoil in their own lives and simply by means of association, their havoc starts to spill over into your life as well, causing you to expend valuable energy that you could have been using elsewhere in your life.   At least that’s how it has happened to me.  When I decide to let a person into my life, I give it my all to make that relationship work.  The way I see it, this can be both a blessing and a curse.  But this is why I must constantly evaluate my relationships, to make sure that I don’t allow them to pull me off of my destined path and onto theirs.

Another area of my life I need to watch closely is taking on too many projects or activities that just keep me busy, but don’t put me any closer to attaining my goals.  Taking on unproductive busy work has proven to prematurely exhaust my most valuable resources, which are my time and my energy.  I call these my most valuable resources because these are the only two that I cannot retrieve.  Unlike money, which, ebbs and flows, comes and goes, like the currents in the water, money is supposed to move, it’s a conduit, its very nature is to come and then go. There’s no doubt that money is an expression of energy.  But time, as they say, waits for no man and like time, energy, once it’s wasted, it can never be regained.  

In the past I’ve wasted lots of both, by getting involved in the wrong projects, opportunities, ventures and get rich quick schemes.  Until I discovered my purpose, I would just throw paint against the wall hoping that something would eventually stick. 

But today as I sat and reminisced on this past year, I realized that I had overlooked a very significant pattern that I had developed in my life.  This pattern involved a certain stubbornness that I had around changing some of my daily habits and my procrastination in severing stagnate relationships.  What’s so amazing is that I didn’t recognize those tendencies  until  today.

Occasionally, when God wants to lead me in a particular direction, He will often do it through something someone may say to me.  This time He led me to listen to a sermon by my spiritual father; T.D. Jakes (although he doesn’t know he’s my spiritual father, in my mind, I’ve adopted him and given him that title…lol) he pointed it out to me.  His sermon was entitled, “There’s nothing as powerful as a changed mind.”  And it really spoke to my spirit; it’s definitely worth checking out.

 http://youtu.be/-SiLaF0ijOo

In this sermon, Bishop Jakes talked about “Changing your default Settings”.  And after listening to his thought provoking lecture, I was then led me to read chapters 12 and 13 from Genesis. These were the first two chapters where God first called Abraham and told him that someday he would be the father of many nations. 

When God first called Abraham, He told him that he was to first, pack up all that he owned and leave his home and relatives and go to this unknown place that He would reveal to him later.  Now obviously, that would not be an easy thing for any of us to do, including Abraham, even though he is called the father of our faith, because Abraham only partially obeyed God.  Yes he did pack up and leave as God had instructed him, but he took his nephew, Lot with him, when God clearly told him to leave his relatives behind.  Over the next two chapters of Genesis, Abraham had physically moved his entire household, his servants, his belongings and livestock, no less than six times.  And Abraham wasn’t done making mistakes yet, while fleeing a famine he lied to the king of Egypt and basically sold his wife as a concubine to the king out of fear for his own life.  But what I noticed was that even though Abraham continued to make all of these mistakes, was disobedient and didn’t always exercise the best judgment, God continued to protect him, provide for him and increase him financially.  In fact, God blessed Abraham as well as Lot, simply as a result of his association with Abraham.  God had blessed the two of them so much that they had both become very wealthy with livestock and servants. The ironic thing was that their wealth is what eventually almost tore their relationship apart; it did separate them physically.  The land that they were sharing could not continue to support the multitude of all that they had both accumulated, while they were living so close together.   Abraham gave Lot the best part of the land, and Lot took it and went on his way. 

I’m sure this too was hard for Abraham, because although God did promise him that someday he would have children, he didn’t yet have any of his own, and Lot was like a son to him.  But it wasn’t until Lot had left Abraham that God allowed him to stop the seemingly aimless wandering that he was doing.  It was then that God allowed Abraham to settle down, so that he could develop the intimate relationship between the two of them that He had intended from the beginning.  Abraham was now free to focus the attention and energy that he was putting into his relationship with Lot into his relationship with God.  God needed this one on one time with Abraham to prepare him for the blessing that He had promised him.  God needed to retrain Abraham’s thoughts, and the behavior patterns that he had carried with him that he inherited from his family.  It was very hard for Abraham to break his old habits and patterns while he was still hanging out with his family members that were still practicing those same old behavior patterns.  Basically, he needed to strip Abraham of his old ways, build new habits and remold him all over again. 

This process went on between God and Abraham for several more years. For a while, Abraham continued to repeat his old habits and fall into some of the weaknesses of his past by rescuing Lot from Sodom and Gomorrah, and conceiving Ismael with his servant girl outside of his marriage.  Until one day, at 99 years old, it seemed as though Abraham just woke up, and one day and decided to do things differently. After many years of moving around in circles and repeating the same mistakes, time after time, he learned how to “Change His Default Settings”, and he finally got it right.  And the good news is that just one Year after Abraham implemented the changes necessary in his life, the promise that God had made to him so many years ago, was manifested and he and his wife Sarah birthed Isaac. 

It was after reading Abraham’s story, that I also understood that changing one’s default settings is a process, it doesn’t happen overnight.  While studying Abraham’s saga, a light bulb suddenly came on in my head that connected his narrative with my own life journey.   Through the clarity of my “Ah ha moment,” I could clearly see Abraham’s mistakes and the patterns that caused him to continue to repeat those mistakes.  I could also see why God’s intention from the beginning was for Abraham to leave his family of origin and their patterns behind him, before to setting off on the journey God needed him to take to become the man he needed to be, before making him the “Father of many nations”. 

At the same time, it was easy for me to see why God needed to remove the wrong people, habits and behavior patterns out of my life as well.   Like Abraham these were the obstacles that were preventing me from becoming all I was intended to be.  It also gave me such great comfort to see how good God is to us, even when we screw up and make mistakes and even when we are purposely, blatantly, disobedient, He still doesn’t give up on us.  He is still there, faithfully, mercifully, guiding us, protecting us, and not just providing for us, but surprisingly, He still abundantly blesses us. 

I also know that any real, lasting change is a process, we live our life in stages and fortunately, God never wastes any of our experiences, He uses all of our experiences, the good and the bad, our triumphs as well as our mistakes, to work for our good.  But honestly, I will share with you that my prayer and wish on the day of my birth was, “Lord, please help me to “Change my Default Settings”, starting today, because I don’t want to spend my entire lifetime, and wait until my 99^th birthday before I finally reach my fullest potential and become the person that I was put here to become.

POWER HIDDEN IN PAINFUL PLACES

 

I’ve always been an early riser, I am at my best before 10 am, my mind and senses just seem to be sharpest early in the morning, when most people are still sound asleep.  Somehow, as by instinct I’ve just always known that if there was anything that required a large amount of concentration or energy for me, it was imperative that I schedule it early in the morning.  I guess I would be what you would call a “morning person”.  A rare type indeed, most people seem to prefer sleeping in as late as possible and people like myself, who wake up bright eyed and busy tailed seem to only irritate them further by reminding them that eventually that will have no choice but to break their beauty sleep, get up and join the rest of the world. I prefer to attack the world before it attacks me; most times I’m up even before my alarm clock, checking it several times during the night, just to make sure that it’s still working. Even at 4:30 am, which is my normal rising hour, I open my eyes, I bubbling over with exuberance and energy, this is the time of day I am most optimistic, and productive.

 Up until about a year ago I never really understood why I loved the morning hours so much, although I did realize the peace and the tranquility I felt at this time of day, when the noise of the world seem to shut down a bit, allowed me to think more clearly, and to hear from God with a higher degree of clarity.  This has been the case for me, for as long as I can remember, so it was no surprise to me when one morning as I was working out at the gym, I happened to tune into this one program called Life Today. As spiritual and inspirational shows go, I am pretty discerning, some of them are as bad as the secular shows on TV, but I like this particular program because one of its primary missions is to raise money for various types of causes, and not just here locally in the United States.  The founders of this program are also sensitive to the needs of our international brothers and sisters, but what I love most is that they actively hearken to their call.  They don’t just pray for them,  although prayer is a large part of their ministry; but by consistently send mission teams, financial aid and resources to help those in need. For me they have brought the passage of scripture to life that says; “Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, (James 1:22).   I love the fact that they literally put their money where their mouths are.

On this particular morning, the show was dedicated to the victims of the sex trafficking industry, the images of these innocent women and children, both boys and girls of all ages, starting as young as, three years old, being tortured, beaten, starved and drugged against their will on a regular basis, instantly began to break my heart.  But if it weren’t enough that they were caged and chained in a filthy, smelly environment 24 hours a day, 7 days a week like animals, these helpless individuals are forced to engage in unclean, unsafe and unprotected sex, sometimes in excess of 20 times a day, with total strangers. 

Sadly, the prisoners of sex camps are used and abused until their frail bodies and spirits have been broken down and depleted of all health, strength and hope.  If for any reason at all, they are unwilling or unable to service customers, it is seen as an act of defiance by their captors.  Whether the incompliance is a willful act of disobedience or is because they have to become too sick or weak to physically perform the demands placed upon them.  These poor souls are often rendered incapacitated in many cases due to the contraction of a STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) that has gone unattended or some other illness that may result from the constant abuse, neglect a deplorable living conditions that they are forced to endure.  They are not seen as people but as a commodity, like cattle, to be bought and sold at will, although cattle seem to be given higher regard and value than they are.  But like cattle, when they are no longer useful they are callously slaughtered and discarded as waste.

After watching this program for only a few minutes I could feel knots begin to form in my stomach, a lump began growing in my throat and tears starting to well up in my eyes. And even though I was the only one in the gym at the time, I said to myself, “Stop, you can’t cry, not out in the open in a public place”.  So in order to avoid this public display, almost as a reflex, I reached to change the channel.  I figured if I stopped watching the program, the discomfort that I was feeling inside would also go away as well.  And if for no other reason, I wanted to annihilate the stabbing pangs of sympathy that were starting to build inside of my gut for these helplessly exploited women and children on the TV screen in front of me.

I also wanted to avoid the tremendous guilt that came upon me as I watched them living the real life version of what could only be described as hell.   Although the events I was witnessing were happening thousands of miles away, on an island half way around the world, it could’ve just as easily been happening right next door to me.  This could easily have been me, or God forbid, my own precious daughter, my sister, best friend or any other random woman or child that you or I may know for that matter.  Day after day living in terror, literally chained up and forced to live in sub-human conditions, probably wondering if they will make it through and live to see the next day, but only to repeat the entire horrific cycle again.

If you think that this problem is too far away to warrant concern, all you have to do is turn on the evening news, surf the internet or pick up a magazine and you will find story after story about women and children who have no voice, seen merely as property to turn a dime.  It’s not very hard to find stories like these, right even in our own backyards.  In fact I believe that it’s much harder to avoid being exposed to these types of stories than it is to find them.  Trust me, I know because I worked very hard at ignoring stories like these for years.  In order to maintain my  false sense of security,  I would tell myself that things like that only happened in remote  third world countries, what they did was none of my business or none of my concern and that we should take care of home first.  This was the excuse that I used to ease my guilty conscience, because in my heart I knew that I didn’t believe that at all.  Although I haven’t always had the courage to live a life that demonstrated my convictions, in my heart, I’ve always believed that we all are truly our brother’s keeper.  And that when a situation arises where someone is being wrongly persecuted, bullied or abused,  the person that stands  silently by watching, doing nothing in the face of that injustice, is just as responsible as the person who has initiated it.  

For me, stories like these were proof positive that evil influence “The Enemy” still has over this world, but for me, it also represents the all too painful reminders of similar experiences from my own past. Experiences that I chose to forget about and securely lock away.  While growing up and even in my adult life, there were so many times that I came dangerously close to being raped or molested, but miraculously something or someone always intervened on my behalf and stopped it from occurring.  Unfortunately, this was and is not the case for so many of my friends, and girls that I’ve encountered over the years, nor has it been the case for the defenseless victims that I saw on the program that morning.   For so many other countless women and children, both worldwide and here in our own country, cities, neighborhoods, schools, churches and homes, there was no white knight riding in on a horse to rescue them.  Despite their cries for help, no one came and nothing happed to intervene to prevent tragedy from occurring in their lives.  And every once in a while, when I was still, quiet and alone,  I would give myself permission to dig up my own painful memories and analyze the meaning behind circumstances such as these, and inevitably, I would always wind up asking myself this same question, why?  Why was I so lucky, why did I always come so close to danger only to escape? And for that matter, why was I so blessed to be born here in a country where women had value, equality, rights and a voice?  I know that I could’ve just as easy have been born in some impoverished country, living in a hut, starving and wondering where my and children’s next meal was coming from.  Or I could be forced by my husband or father to sell my body in order to help support and feed the family.  Honestly, the weight  from the guilt that I felt when I thought of my life and the seemingly unworthy blessings that God had bestowed upon me, was too much for me to bear, so I kept my feelings locked away, running, ducking and hiding from anything or anyone that reminded me of them.

 And now here it was again, another program about the very issues that had been secretly breaking my heart, issues that I had been trying to avoid confronting for most of my life.

 But for some reason this day was different, although I felt the same impulse to turn the channel, run away and avoid feeling the anxiety and pain that I knew would ultimately arise if I continued to watch, in spite of my fear, I watched it anyway.  But to my surprise as I continued to watch, my pain and sympathy briefly transformed into confusion, quickly followed by anger. So in my anger, I asked God, “Why was I spared this horrible fate and so many of my friends, family and others were not?” “Why did you allow this to happen to them, you could have prevented this from happening to them, just the same as you prevented those things from happening to me?”   The more I thought about it the more enraged I became, and finally I said aloud, “Lord why don’t  you do something?”  And loudly and clearly He answered me, not audibly of course, but there was no mistaking His answer, I heard it deep and loudly down in my spirit, He simply replied, “Why don’t YOU do something?”

And immediately with those five words, it hit me, I had an epiphany.  I now had the answer to all the questions that I had asked myself for so many years.  I finally understood why I was spared and kept safe from the clutches of destruction; it all happened the way it was supposed to, for a purpose, for God’s purpose.

  God rescued me so that I might become a rescuer.  By sparing my life from peril God was giving me the opportunity to return the favor that He had shown to me in rescuing me from danger all of those times.   God allowed me to come just close enough to peril in my past,  so that I might feel a strong kinship to the feelings of fear, pain and degradation that the victims of rape, abuse and sex trafficking feel every minute of every day.  My personal experiences had created a place of pain inside of me that allowed me to a feel an intense sense of sympathy for this certain group of people, which ultimately connected me to my true calling and God’s intended purpose for my life.  He intended this injustice to affect my heart so passionately, so that when I saw it, I would be unable to remain silent, to shut my eyes or turn away in cold apathy.  

 But I believe that when God said, “Why don’t YOU do something”, He wasn’t just talking to me.  He was talking to me about all of us, all of the people that God has spared from anything; if God has ever spared you from anything, or performed a miracle on your behalf,  He did it for a purpose.  For anyone that has been spared from rape, murder, a car accident, an illness, being fired or even from being punished for a crime that you may or may have not committed, God spared you for a purpose.

  In the Bible He performed some of the most legendary miracles on behalf of the Israelites when He freed them from slavery at the hands of the Egyptians. But He did it all for a purpose;  In scripture, He said that He spared the Israelites so that they could be free to worship Him.  God is a God of purpose; there is nothing that He does or creates without a purpose, including each of us.  We were all fashioned and placed where we are and given certain gifts and talents to fulfill a specific calling on our lives.  We were born in exactly the right place, we were given exactly the right parents and had exactly the right types of experiences needed to become the people that God made us to be.  Both our good and bad experiences form us into the people that we were meant to be, no matter how painful they may have been.

Initially, I didn’t know what I could contribute to a problem of such magnitude, I must admit that I was intimidated when I learned that everyday minute of every day; two victims are sex trafficked and 2880 people are dragged into the sex slave trade against their will.  I felt small in the face of such a seemingly insurmountable problem.    According to those statistics, slavery is still very much alive and well, even in the 21^st century, right here in the United States.  Actually, according to Weave Inc. an agency dedicated to preventing violence against women, the United States is one of the top three destination points for trafficked victims.  With states like California, New York, Texas, Nevada and even North Carolina as one of the top destination states within the country. 

These facts were so alarming to me that I felt overwhelmed and I didn’t know what I had to offer, of course I could contribute money to the cause and I was happy to do that. But I felt strongly that God wanted me to do more than to just throw money at is cause and then turn away.  I knew that there must be something else God wanted me to contribute, but what did I have to offer?  So I went over the inventory of the talents He had entrusted me with and the first thing that came to mind was simply to write and inform others about it.  I wanted to share my passion about this terrible crime with others because through helping others, I’ve learned that I am in turn helping myself in the healing process.

 I’m not writing this from the prospective of having all of the answers, or any of the answers for that matter.  In fact I am writing this for the completely opposite reason, because we need more answers and more assistance.  All I know for sure is that this is an evil injustice that needs to be abolished,  I more than anyone, understand that this is a crime so horrible and unspeakable that it makes the average person uncomfortable just to talk about it.  I guess that’s why you don’t see beautiful celebrities doing commercials about it; this is a topic that we have all been guilty of shoving under the rug for way too long.  I believe the lack of exposure is one of the main reasons that this problem has grown so quickly and become so wide spread; like a fungus it grows fastest in dark places and the only way to kill this fungus is expose it to the light.  A solution can finally begin when we all come together and speak out about the injustices we see and then boldly act against them.

My entire life I had always felt so empty and unfulfilled, constantly searching for something or someone to fill the empty feeling I had down inside of me.  If only I had known that all of those years I spent running from my pain were unnecessary, because in running away from my pain, I was also running away from my passion and from my destiny.  Who knew that all of this time the solution that I was seeking to feeling fulfillment, and to finding my strength, power and my purpose was locked away in the most unlikely of places; in the deep, dark crevices of my most painful places.

PEOPLE WHO FIT-DON'T SEEK!

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”- MATTHEW 7:7 and ISAIAH 8:11-The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does.”

Yesterday I heard a phrase that was confirmation of an answer to a question that I asked God a few months ago.  T. D Jakes said, “People who fit, don’t seek.”  When I heard that, it was like a light went on in my head.  For me this quote from Bishop Jakes served as confirmation to a question that I’ve asked of God over and over again, in my life.

 Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always felt different.  I’ve never really fit into any group very well; I’ve always felt like the odd man out.  Even in my own family I stood out as the black sheep, my father used to describe me as the weird or the strange one.  I like to think of myself as artsy or special, luckily I decided early on to embrace my differences, to become a leader and not a follower.  I decided not to blend on purpose; as a teenager I refused to buy clothes from the stores that the other girls were shopping at.  I chose instead to make my own or went to shop at a second hand store, or I just altered the clothes that I bought so that they were one of kind, to ensure that I wouldn’t see anyone else wearing them.  I also chose to express my individuality in other ways.  I’ve always love to write and in high school I started an underground newspaper and wrote about issues happening in our school that disturbed me.  I went to a conservative, private school and I knew that if the authorities ever found out who was responsible for writing and distributing the “contraband” as they called it, they would be immediately expelled.  But I and the other writers chose to continue writing and expressing our thoughts regardless of the circumstances.  There were lots of students who knew who we were and saw us as weird and different, and they treated us as such.  We weren’t exactly popular, and it didn’t always feel good being different from everyone around us.  

Even as an adult I never did fit in very well anyplace, up until recently, probably the last 5 years of my life I would say, I struggled to find a comfortable place to settle down.   It seemed like I would find a group of friends, and connect to people I thought would be in my life forever, and something would happen and slowly, for one reason or another, we would all go our separate ways.  Someone would move away, or have another baby and not have the time to put into the relationship like they did in the past or we would simply outgrow each other and move on with our lives.  That was always hardest for me to accept, I didn’t understand why the people I had grown to love and depend on had to leave my life, why I couldn’t seem to develop a sense of permanence in my friendships.  I did have, and still do have friends in my life that I’ve had for many years, some have been around since I was a little girl.  But we don’t stay in touch on a regular basis like we once did; as a result we have drifted emotionally away from one another. 

And my career path has been a roller coaster ride, and that would be saying the least.  Finding a job that suited my somewhat quirky personality hasn’t been easy at all.  I would get into a job and I would either not fit well into a certain group, the boss and I didn’t exactly see eye to eye, the hours didn’t work for my family structure, the pay wasn’t what I needed for my budget, or perhaps I was just not right to perform the basic duties of the job itself.  And then there were times when I loved the job and felt perfect for it.  I loved everything about it, I finally felt like I had arrived, this was it, I could finally kick back and settle down.  And then, something would happen, the company would move to Alaska, or close down or my favorite reason of all, they would have to downsize. 

But whatever the case, after reviewing the circumstances of my life whether it was in my personal with my relationships, my career, or even the places that I’ve lived in.  I couldn’t even live in one place very long when something would occur where I had to pick up my kids and our entire lives and move once again.  My children always said that moving “again” was the one thing they were hated the most about their childhood.  It seems as though I’ve spent my whole life constantly searching for something else, something better, something bigger than the life that I was living.  I didn’t even know exactly what that was, or what path I needed to be on to find it. But for some reason, I’ve always felt way deep down in my spirit, in my soul that there was a life that was bigger and better, a life that I was meant to be living, but was not.   And I was always in hot pursuit of the answers, the solution to how I was going to find the path to living that life.  But the one thing that I knew for sure was that I could find the answers that I was looking for by going to God. 

Recently, I found myself in the throes of ending a relationship with someone that I had grown close to, while simultaneously being put in the all too familiar circumstance of having to leave a job due to budget cuts.  I thought this person would be in my life forever and I also thought that I would be working on this particular job for many years, but lost it after only being there for 3  short months.  Needless to say, I was feeling frustrated and confused, so I went to my source, who for me is God, and I asked him this question, “Why is it that I can never get to a place, a job, a relationship and just get settled?  Why can’t I ever just get to a place where I feel like I’m finally there, where I feel comfortable, the place where I fit in?”  And almost immediately God answered me.  He said, “I don’t want you to settle, because you are not there yet.”  

Settle for me in my mind meant a place of comfort. But I believe that God was saying he didn’t want me to settle; to conclude my journey, to take up a place of permanent residency, to resolve my life definetly and conclusively because I had not yet accomplished what He has put me here to do.  And He doesn’t want any of us to stop, to fall short or settle for anything less than his intended purpose for our lives.  He wants the best for us, and if we stop pursuing our goals and dreams too quickly and settle, we will never experience the best for our lives. 

I’m not saying that we are not supposed to be grateful, and thankful for the gifts and blessings that God has given us.  The bible says that we should praise God and be thankful in ALL things.  Paul also said that He has learned to be content in ALL situations, whether he had money or not, in jail or free.”   No matter what our level of blessings we should be thankful and we should strive to hold on to our peace no matter what our outward circumstances look like.  But I don’t believe that means that we are supposed to become complacent and stop searching, seeking and trying to improve our lives and the lives of those around us. 

God has put down on the inside of us; the seekers; those of us who possess this insatiable craving for something better.  This feeling is not always easy or comfortable to live with; it comes with lots of headaches and many sleepless nights.  But without it we wouldn’t have the inventors, the artist, the scholars, the writers or the visionaries who have contributed so much to our world simply by asking, “What if I could make or do this better?”  I believe that when Bishop Jakes said, “Those who fit, don’t seek,” he was simply saying this. When we are satisfied with the status quoi or we fit in perfectly with the world or the community around us, there is nothing that urges us to seek something better.    There are two particular quotes from scripture that come to mind for me; “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”- MATTHEW 7:7 and ISAIAH 8:11-The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does.”

 I find peace in understanding that God places people in our lives for a reason or a season.  And that every job that I’ve had in the past and even the one that I have now, is not “The Place”, it’s simply a vehicle to “The Place”.  God uses every single situation in our lives for us to develop a skill or have certain experiences that we will later use as tools when we finally do arrive at “The Place” in our lives.  Today I no longer look at being different and this feeling of never being settled as a negative thing. I finally understand that  God has strategically placed this persistent passion inside of me  with the intentions of moving me forward and helping me to accomplish my purpose, and to me I no longer see it as a curse, I see it as an honor and a blessing.

PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN AND DELIVER!

-GALATIANS 6:9

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

I realized for the first time today, that even though I am the biological mother of two beautiful children, I have never actually experienced the pain of child birth.  Both of my pregnancies were difficult, in that I pretty much had nine months of morning sickness, and I also had Toxemia when I was pregnant with my son and Gestational Diabetes when I was pregnant with my daughter.  My son was also close to 11lbs and I am a pretty petite woman, only 5ft. tall, which made it impossible for me to deliver him naturally.  I wasn’t that radiant, glowing, beautiful pregnant woman that people are always talking about.  I was miserable, sick and cranky for the entire nine months of both of my pregnancies.  I just figured God was being merciful to me because of my awful pregnancies and cut me a little slack by allowing me to deliver my babies through Cesarean Section.

I’ve always been thankful to have missed out on that whole painful experience, the idea of pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a walnut was terrifying to me.   But I’m starting to realize that in missing out on that experience, I also missed out on the opportunity to know what it feels like to push through the pain of bringing something into the world that you had been nurturing and growing inside of you for an extended period of time. 

One of the things that people who are closest to me often joke about is the fact that I’ve had soooo many different type of jobs.  They would always say that if there’s a job out there that you’re interested in, ask Cherie because she’s probably done it.  I’m not sensitive about it, I can’t be, because it’s true.  In my life I’ve been extremely blessed to have a lot of different jobs, careers and business ventures. I’ve always had a wide variety of interest and I wanted to experience them all.  I don’t regret any of them, because I always say that when you figure out what you don’t want, it takes that much closer to figuring out what you do want.  Also I never want to say that I wasn’t open or too afraid to try new or different things. 

But over the last few years looking back on all of the opportunities that God has given me, I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if I would’ve stuck with some of them longer and pushed through the discomfort when things became difficult or painful.  I realize looking back on my life that historically when things got to be hard for me or took me out of my comfort zone, I would simply quit and move on to the next thing.  If I were working a job and the boss was making my life hard I would just quit, and find another job, not always necessarily in that order.  Even in the case where I myself was the business owner,  if things got to be a little hairy and funding started to run a little scarce or if I had employee problems for example;  I couldn’t actually quit, but I sold my business and went in another direction, which essentially was the same thing.  My point being, I wonder sometimes what would’ve happened and I wish that I knew what the result would’ve been if I had kept on moving forward, pushed through the labor pains long enough to see how God could’ve worked things out for me.  Over the past few years I would often find myself reminiscing with curiosity, thinking about what miracles God might have performed on my behalf to help me deliver my blessing into fruition, if I had only endured and pushed through the pain.

But you know what “they” say; watch what you wish for, because right now, God in his infinite wisdom, is giving me the chance that I have been wishing for. He is giving me the chance to experience the pain of labor and delivery that I had previously missed out on.  I’m not actually pregnant with a child again, so I won’t be experiencing labor and delivery in the literal sense.   However, I do believe that God wants me to actively participate in process of pushing thorough the labor pains and metaphorically birth my dream into existence.    

Right now, if I had to describe my life in a couple of words I would probably hang a sign on it that says, “UNDER CONSTRUCTION”.  I feel like my life is a twisted, messed up ball of tangled yarn.  I feel like my vision is impaired by smoke, I can’t see a clear path in front of me.  I’m learning to walk completely by faith and not by sight.  This is much harder to do than it sounds, because everywhere I turn there is the threat of loss, uncertainty, and a looming forecast of pain brought about by fear.  My job is uncertain, which causes fear of financial insecurity, the dynamics with my close friends and family are changing drastically, some of them may leave my life altogether, this also causes me to feel  the fear of isolation and loneliness.  Lately I’ve been feeling like it’s just me against the world.  For the past several weeks, I’ve dreaded waking up in the morning; I’ve wanted to avoid all contact with the outside world.  It seems that I had let panic and fear become a regular part of my daily routine.  Somehow I had allowed “the enemy” to steal my peace.  And when you give him your peace, you also give him your power.  All of our creative talents live in our soul, and if your soul is not at peace, then we cannot be the creative productive individuals that God put us here to be. 

The adversary that we face every day is very cunning and he is excellent at creating illusions in order to distract us.  He will consistently whisper lies to us and distort the truth in our minds in order to create, fear, and panic and anxiety in our heads.  We become preoccupied with thoughts of worry, thereby destroying any creative thoughts that would eventually bring about productivity and success in our lives.   The bible doesn’t call him “The Arthur of Confusion” for nothing.   His job is to stir chaos in our lives, be it real or imagined.  And although he is persistent, unlike humans, he is not very creative, and most times he doesn’t have to be.   He likes using tactics that have proven to work against us in the past.  And for me, what I’ve suddenly come to realize, through the help of the Holy Spirit, is that one of the easiest ways to get me to stop working, is to get me to start worrying.   

It seems that as soon my life starts to get hard, uncomfortable or painful, if I can’t see the my way through a trial, the way around an obstacle, or figure out a solution to a problem, history shows that I’ve stopped pushing in the middle of the birthing process and subsequently aborted my dream.  But at the beginning of this year, I asked God to help me to become better and go to a higher level in every area of my life.  Remember what I said earlier about being careful about what you ask for?  Because what I’m starting to learn about God is that He rarely gives us what we ask Him for in the obvious form.  For instance, if we ask for an apple, God will give you an apple seed.  If we for money, He gives us a job, and if we ask for more patience He will put you around a person who will try your last nerve.  And for me, He knew that if I ever was going to rise to a higher level in any area of my life, if I wanted to ever see any of the dreams that I have inside of me become a reality, I was going to have to develop more character in the area of persevering through the pain.  I was going to have to learn to stick it out even when things around me are swirling around like a tornado and I feel like I’m in the eye of the storm.  I would have to learn to resolve to stay, even when I didn’t see a way out or an immediate solution.  I believe that God wanted me to decide to trust Him and follow His direction; whether it meant leaving a comfortable place that I was content to stay in or remaining in an uncomfortable situation when all I wanted to do is run away.

During the birthing process, the doctor will tell the soon to be mother to find an object in the room that represents something positive for her and focus on that during the times when she is asked to push, which is the hardest and most painful part of the delivery.  And the closer she gets to the birth, the harder it becomes.  What I have come to believe is this; God doesn’t just want us to persistently push through the pain, He also wants us to use Him, as a focal point. He wants us to focus on Him, and how big He is and not how great our circumstances are.  If we magnify Him and not our problems we won’t become distracted by the pain of our situation and give up prematurely on our dreams.

So for me, I’ve decided to strap in, bear down, take deep breathes, focus on Him, squeeze His hand and push through the pain of labor and deliver the dreams that are inside of me.